Did you deliver this? No.
No? Why did you leave it here?
Are you here to file a report on someone wrecking your truck?
Then I will need to ask you a few questions
first question
Which dairy product have wings?
Butter flies.
How did you know?
OK, another pop quiz, hot shot
What kind of beer never gets you drunk?
Rootbeer
You're so good.
Let me tell you a secret
Jia jia the panda from Ocean Park actually died recently
I go undercover to play it sometimes
See any resemblance?
Come over here
Do you know what pandas love to eat?
Tell me
Chocolate bars or Ice cream?
Ice cream
That's right, got any ice cream for me then?
No? Fine let me show you then
Have some, go for it with big gulps
You know what, though? An An, the other panda had two babies
See this?
I meant the actress Yu An-an, haha!
Constable 3824! Stop clowning around
A CIB case needs guys to play pedestrians to cover the action.
Get changed and get going, come on.
Yes, Madam
Freeze Don't move
Police, freeze Freeze
Put your hands behind your head
Place your firearm back in the holster
3824 reporting for duty, sir
I don't know how to talk to this guy, you take over
Madam!
Good thing you came late
Do you know what you resemble? A robber
Get moving
Are you from my hometown?
Get moving, homeboy
I might just shoot you
Look at yourself
You look neither like a cop or a robber
Thank God these fools dress like this
Making it too obvious for us to make the arrest
Listen up, I don't want to see this guy in our operations ever again
Yes sir!
Sir I didn't think they'd idolize me to this extent
Hey guys?
Any more robbers we need to arrest?
Wait up
I didn't bring my wallet!
Wait up, please...
I paged you everyone in for this emergency meeting
This guy was our mole in Crazy Sam's crime organization
Crap acting?
Wow, Crazy Sam sure knows great calligraphy
Yeah?
Maybe he hired someone else to write this, look...
Our guy died, stop admiring the handwriting
Any thoughts?
I think Crazy Sam crossed the line here
It's not our fault that our undercover have crap acting skills
This is prevalent even in Hong Kong cinema.
Our undercovers get paid only like ten-twenty thousand bucks
Actors with million dollar paychecks are equally as bad with acting
Don't you guys agree? That's right
It's unfair to be singling us out
Drug lords don't play fair anyway
Exactly...
Crap actors at most lose out on awards nights
But our undercovers are losing their lives.
Maybe we should make acting lessons mandatory in the force
No, people may say the police force is being pretentious
It's not good for public image
Well...
Maybe let's send a cop into acting school
Let's look at the outcome then decide our next step
Any ideal candidates then?
Come on... anyone?
Hey, you. Whatever your name is...
At your service, Madam
Anyone in the Force we can send to acting school?
There is this guy...
He's joined the Force for quite a few years now
He always stars in those annual party skits
He's very much into acting
That's the one then.
Sirs, the hotpot is ready.
It's all settled then
Sure is
Let's eat OK
Any lobster balls? Sure
Chief... Bottom of pot
Sir, #3824 Man Long Chan reporting for duty
Are you ok?
I'm fine
You're just in time
What I am about to tell you is top secret
Not even when your very life is threatened...
...Should you ever divulge any of this
Understood, sir
Two days ago
Around 36 seconds past 11:24 in the evening
One of our guys, let's call him Ah Yan
He had spent 187 days...
...to infiltrate druglord Crazy Sam's gang
Crazy Sam's a merciless murderer
Anyone he has doubts on he will kill without hesitation
Ah Yan went to Crazy Sam's church
He saw Crazy Sam on his knees praying
Forgive me, oh Lord, he said
Sam's bodyguards closed in on Ah Yan behind him
Suddenly Sam turned around
His eyes glaring
And stared at Ah Yan
He asked Ah Yan
Are you an undercover cop?
Ah Yan swiftly denied, "Of course not, Sam"
Sam lifted the candleholder and stabbed
Ah Yan's head
He started bleeding profusely
The wax from the candle spilling on him and solidifying
Ah Yan begged for his life vehemently
Sam, listen to me please for the love of God
Sam pulled out a string of steel wire embedded in his watch
He quickly wrapped it around Ah Yan's neck tightly
Ah Yan can barely say Sam's name
And before he could mutter Sam's name he was gone
a hissing sound escaped from Ah Yan's neck
exhaling his last breath ever
Sam pressed his nose against Ah Yan's and screamed
You need acting chops to be an undercover!
Ah Yan's dead eyes popped out of their sockets
Blood streamed down from his snapped neck
Sam used the blood to write on Ah Yan's pristine white shirt
Crap acting
Ah Yan died in the line of duty that way
Excellent performance!
I'm not done yet
You've been called upon
To undergo an important mission
Being on a rooftop, you probably know what I'm going to ask of you
Sir? There are people on that rooftop, too.
Inspector Anthony Wong is talking to his undercover agent
Someone behind you too, look
Inspector Danny Lee bought a watch for his mole's birthday
Our undercover operations love rooftops
Inspector Wong is in danger
He's just been thrown from the roof!
Don't be such a gossip hound
Crazy Sam was right we never took acting seriously
But sir, I thought your acting is excellent
Men after their 30's got to have some acting skills
However I'm not a constable like you, my life is worth something
Going undercover is dangerous
Does this mean you're going to eliminate my records?
You thought this is a movie?
These are your undercover files
The copy stays with me, the origin goes into the vault at the Justice Department
Do you want a copy?
It's useful in case of emergency
Will I get a watch from you on my birthday?
Yes, here it is in case I forgot
It's in the envelope
On your actual birthday l'll get you a clock
Thanks
Although you're the best actor on the force
we still need to send you to a performance academy
to polish up your performance skills
Yes sir
I'm going to be an actor
Brother, your mom's looking for you
Sir, there's a snake...
...in your trouser, hahaha Crazy
Taken your meds yet?
Good morning, Sir
Freeze, hands behind your head
I can't even reveal this to my closest person.
You scared me
Judy, an incredible thing happened today
I had a busy day at the shop, I had to skip lunch
I'm a cop, right?
I'm close to not being one
But I'm actually still one
I can't tell you the details
The store manager is leaving next month, word is I'm up for the job
That's something that I've always wanted to do
And I'm this close to realizing that dream
But it's killing me that I can't tell you
The truth is, apart from me
Lisa and Jenny are both jockeying for that job too
I've always known that I'm the only suitable person
Please don't keep asking me
don't ask about this watch
I'm sorry I simply can't tell you
I'm going undercover
Oh dear, pretend you didn't hear what I said.
I'm going to be the store manager
Judy! Judy!
Crazy Sam whipped out the wire he embedded in his watch
Blood spilled everywhere
Ah Yan's words echoed: "I'm not..."
Crazy Sam used his blood to write down these words
Crap Acting
Ah Yan died in the line of duty
Principal, do you understand me now?
I do, but that's not my concern.
How was my acting? Beginner's class level
Oh well, I'm fielding an undercover to come here to learn
You're sending in an undercover agent? Yes.
It demands a rationale.
Simple, pretend that I came in here
I lost this baton, and he's here to find it for me
This baton seems pretty useless
It extends and can get pretty long
Oh ok... it works then
Good morning
I'm new here, where's the drama school?
One floor up Thanks
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...
Music school? I'm from Drama School
Where's the drama school? Thanks
Newbie
You don't even belong here
So cool... I want to be an actor!
Life is unpredictable
We're forced to interact with...
...different people in this world
during the course of interaction we may lose ourselves
The world is unpredictable
Is it our lives or the world that's truly unpredictable?
Speaking of unpredictability
We get a midterm new student today
His name is Man-Long Chan
Mr. Chan, would you introduce yourself?
Hi guys, my name is Man-Long Chan
You can call me Long Chan, or Man Long
Why do I speak Italian?
Because I studied drama in Italy's Academia Spaghettia
Sorry, I'm late, sorry
Are you Professor Mong?
Yes
Class
If Man-Long's an example of life's unpredictability
this lady is our example of the world's unpredictability
Dani Dan, intorduce yourself please?
How's everyone?
I'm Dani Dan.
I'm usually...
Around 34D, 23, 34 maybe?
You have a vivid memory
You must've seen my movies?
You mean soft core porn movies
Soft core porn actresses can be serious actresses too
Just like me
I want to constantly better my skills
I think we know what you mean
Class, next time you're watching porn...
I mean... soft core porn films, apart from oggling at the action
please admire the acting skills as well
Let me make an announcement then
We have to stage a play at the end of the semester
I will select the male and female lead in the next 2 weeks
Let's all give it our best shot, ok? Yes sir
Dani Thanks
Let me pay you back
Think of it as a celebration of our first day at school. Cheers.
Man-Long, did you really come from Italy?
You mean, you don't believe me?
I do believe you.
I really like Italy but never had a chance to go there
You seem like you're uneasy.
To be perfectly honest, I am a fan of your work
You're different from other soft core porn actresses
What do you mean?
You're special
Which films of mine have you seen?
Saving Ryan's Privates
You really did well in that movie
Also in "Sperms of..." "Endearment"
You were so convincing in that one
You really had great erotic acting in that one
Also in "Happy Nude Year Everyone"
It was a holiday movie
A unique soft core porn movie for the holidays
Well you know, guys want a happy holiday too
I guess you're right
Hi guys, ciao, ciao!
Why don't you tell me more about your Italian adventures
Italy's an interesting place
The streets there are filled with... um... Italians
Do you know what the Italians do at home?
Eating Pastas.
Really?
Of course, and they have tongues that...
Man Long Chan? I'm Ken Hi there
You just returned from Italy, eh?
Can you do Italian opera? I dabble a little bit in Euro theater
Italian opera? Happens to be my forte!
Yeah?
Return to me to languish
A soprano!
%$#%@@%&... Capuccino!
In high ocean
* && *%#@... Espresso!
You're not singing in Italian it's all made up gibberish
%!)&% $ *#... Espresso! Cappuccino!
Cappuccino! Yes, I like it!
* ()#$@&$#! Fat Angelo's
Oh God! You are my friend!
You two are really good Incredible
Sorry, Felicia You're doing this on purpose
Of course not You can't control your urges
Everyone's out of control
I got to this first No it was me
There's more over there
How much? HK$180
No discounts?
No, there's someone else waiting to buy it from you
Hang on Keep the change
What the... he stole it from me... you did nothing?
After I get off work l'll go after him
I hear Mr. Kam's an excellent instructor in body movement
Yeah?
He looks like he means business
I like teachers to mean business
Remember what I keep telling everybody?
We don't merely use our appearance for acting
Your limbs and body parts are crucial too... and what do I mean?
You need to achieve total body balance
Understood? Understood!
Understood!
Why is it you're one beat slower
Than the rest of the class?
You don't' have rhythm, know what rhythm is?
Rhythm is...
unlike a piece of log like you...
We're an ensemble, we need teamwork
When we're acting before you immerse into your role
You have to find your neutral mode
Sir, when do we use our oily
Or our dry modes?
You think this is about shampoos? I mean neutral
You just yap all day, shut up now.
Let's refresh on the sketch we did yesterday
Everybody, relax
I said relax not go into seizure
From your head, to your eyes
Shoulders, body to your feet
Just like falling asleep
I said "like"not for real
and so we begin... wee...
See the love of your life, walking towards you.
We take it one step at a time...
You went through too many steps
We reach out trying to hold her
But she's just too far and out of reach, she's gone
Shut up
We use our right hand
To wave goodbye
Bye, please come back, I miss you
You have to... What the...
You're overdoing it, back to your position
But I really do miss her, sir. I don't think I'm exaggerating
You're not exaggerating? That was typical exaggerating
There's a time to sing and time not to
When is it not a time to sing?
Anyone?
When you have a sore throat
Nice answer
When else is not suitable for singing?
Has something to do with women
It's when it's that time of the month for you
Just like sore throats
Your chords are pumping with blood and can get hurt easily
Anyone in the middle of her Menstrual Cycle right now?
No? OK so keep up with me
Crouch...
Feel your lower body
Our lower what?
Your own, stop looking at other's
My lower what?
You have a little "outlet"
It tenses up when you inhale, and relaxes when you exhale
Tense up, relax, and give out a sound
Any sound
You will realize that your voice is connected to your lower "outlet"
Give it a shot
Stop
You here, are you suffering from constipation?
No sir, my legs are going numb
Sir, when do we really go into singing?
You have to learn the basics then you can sing anytime.
Keep working on it...
I have a special announcement for you
A TV crew is coming to film our class later today
Ignore the cameras, and just be yourselves
Just think of it as another day in class, no need for anything special
OK OK
In this lifetime and the next, and the last lifetime before this and forever...
Hi I'm Charmaine really pleased to see you guys here
You can ask me anything Thanks
Hi my name is Charmaine, I don't really know what to say
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...
Since we have two new students
Let's show them the basics of body language
Let's begin with separation, let's do the head first
Separation! To the right!
To the left! To the front!
You're not getting it, look at the others
Separation is focusing on certain parts, they all just move their heads
Put your hands around here, close to your ears
OK, to the right! To the left!
You're slapping yourself
To the front!
Not your hands, your head!
To the front! To the left!
You don't even know right from left
Let's do chest exercises
To the right! To the left! To the front!
I knew you'd do this
Freeze your lower body, your head too, inhale and chest forward
Just like this
To the front! To the back!
To the back!
You went to the back yet? That's impressive
OK some hip rotation now, begin
Just your hip, not your entire person
Do you understand? Just rotate your hip like this
Just your hip
Look at how Dani is doing it
Dani, what do you do for a living?
I star in soft core porn
OK, let's go to our next exercise...
What did you say just now? Soft core porn
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk
Basic training for pronunciation breaks down into three parts
Vocal chords, breathing and tongue use
I sense a lot of problems in the way you deliver your lines
Wrong pronunciation, bad intonation and some of you haven't even opened your voices
Ever wonder why...
...an Indian guy like me speak better Cantonese than all of you?
You should be ashamed of yourselves!
Don't tell me it's not correctible
Follow me
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
Peter... Piper... Pickled... Peppers
Where are you going?
Director, why are you here? Get in the car
I'm in the car
Why do you have a cork in your mouth, you playing a wine bottle?
Apparently this helps in pronunciation techniques, what's up?
I'm taking you to a place
What's going on?
You're acting weird
You ok? Better now!
Do you know what's right ahead of us?
The road?
I graduated from here
What is it? Performance Arts Academy
I used to be a scholar
You probably know my buddy Alan Mak
He was crap during our school days
The director of "Infernal Affairs?"
He's a big shot now, I'm wallowing in porn
Bosco, don't give up
I think even in soft core porn there are serious works of art
Dani, I'm not giving up
I got a film offer just today
This is not just another soft core porn film, you're the only choice for the lead
But I'm still at school
Do you hear it? Pay attention
There's a voice calling out for you
Calling you to sacrifice for the sake of art
Dani, I know your attuned to the arts you must hear it
Maybe I can hear it a little bit
So what's the story about?
The story is about a lonely woman
Her pipes at home are backed up she needs a plumber
she waited and waited
and then the plumber shows up
It has so many layers, and lots of emotional scenes
Dani you're the only one capable of playing this role
I have a title for it already
Lord of the Drain
Dani, use what you've learned
Use it all in this new movie
I know that you don't give up on chasing dreams
OK
So why don't you have dinner with the producer tonight
Make sure to put some make up on
Listen up
We're going to do "Romeo and Juliet" this year
Anyone who wants to play the lead
have the next few sessions to impress
Split into two's, find your match
Let's rehearse this scene
Put your heart into it. A copy for everyone
Give it your best shot, you guys
One look at Charmaine I know she wants to be your Juliet
But her acting ability
May affect my performance
I'm the only choice for you
I take thee at thy word
Call me but love, and l'll be new baptized henceforth I never will be Romeo
What man art thou that thus be seen'd in night?
So stumblest in my counsel?
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself
Because it is an enemy to thee
Had I it written, I would tear the word
"How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore"
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb"
And the place death, considering who thou art if any of my kinsmen find thee here
Man Long, you said you studied acting in Italy?
That's right
But I keep thinking of you being in a circus instead
Kidding me, right? I'm serious
I felt Dani Dan and I had a connection right there
You thought so? Yes
Why don't you switch over
You be Romeo and you be Juliet
Mr. Mong, we shall begin
If they do see thee, they will murder thee
Look thou but sweet
And I am proof against their enmity
No...
Please don't
Let's do some face masking
One mere masking of my hand and I sport a depressed face
one stroke and I am happy
Alternate between happiness and sadness, get it?
Try it
Happy, sad
Happy
Sad
Happy
Sad. Happy
Sad, ecstatic, depressed
What the hell? You're overdoing this again
Exaggerating, not over acting, exaggerating, not overacting
Who taught you this, I want to strangle you
Do it again if you dare
Dead, alive, dead, alive, dead, alive.
You're insane, class is dismissed
Insane, normal, insane, normal
What?
Mr. Kam, I practice all the time just like you
Mr. Kam, I know I'm often doing it wrong
Can you please teach me?
It's simple, you're constantly overacting
A good actor does not need to exaggerate
What do you mean?
Hide every emotion under the mask
Be neutral
Don't use expressions, use body language.
Remember to use the mask
Where are my face masks?
What are you up to?
Hey I'm asking you...
What the...?
Whoa!
Do you know how much these masks cost me? You emptied my stock.
You and your Hollywood dreams
Professor Mong, you're looking for me?
I'd like you to be my model, do you mind?
I don't mind. Do you need me with clothes or without?
You like it, eh?
Relax
Man-Long Yes?
Do you have an object of sexual desire in our class?
I... not really...
Don't be shy, tell me.
There is... Forget I said anything
Come on, say it I don't have...
Just tell me, say it
Come on
It's just you and me here, you can be honest with me
Nobody I'm sure there is
Kimi? I cannot.
Felicia? Too heavy for my taste
So you like them hot then?
Hot Hot
Please don't tell anyone
I won't. It's Dani, isn't it?
You've seen her naked pictures
I have too
What do you think you look like?
I look like a sex maniac
I agree
I asked you to come here not to photograph you for real
I want to show you
Why your acting remains superficial
Superficial? Why?
Because all along you've been running away from your...
...dark side Dark side?
Dark side, it's free
Face it, use it
Embrace it. Your acting will improve immeasurably.
If you're horny, admit you're horny.
Be a male lead, be a horny male lead.
The dark side, it's free.
Thank you Professor Mong
It's free...
Horny...
Everyone's nervous?
I know why
Today I'm announcing who's playing our male and female leads
During the last few sessions
I observed that the two of you not only have outstanding acting skills
But also remarkable emotional honesty
So, your Romeo is...
Alex
Our Juliet is...
Felicia
Let's give them a chance to express their feelings.
Here we go...
Thank you, I wasn't surprised one bit
I've always trusted Professor Mong's views
I've always believed that there are no coincidences
We never had a choice
It's my pleasure to be raped by destiny
That's going a little too far
The rest of you please don't be disheartened.
Play your roles well
Stanislavsky once said...
There are no small roles, only small actors
Man-Long, you alright?
I agree with Stanislavsky's words
It's unbelievable that he thought of that
This is great, what a great news
Listen up
Today's a great day
To celebrate Alex's being cast as the lead
Drinks on me, ok?
Sure Drink up!
Hey, the losers are over there, show some humility, please
Let's go have a drink
I thought you were wonderful
Stop it
Cheers, congratulations.
Why don't we rehearse a scene here
Right here?
You want it
We want to see it, go for it Alex
Let's do the Ball Go for it, Alex
Let me show you something
What?
Lord of the Drains?
It's a new script, I start production in a few days
Let's rehearse, you play the plumber
I play the plumber?
Quiet
In this scene the plumber enters, do it
The plumber rings the doorbell
Dong dong, ding dong
That must be him
Ding dong, ding dong
Ding dong
You're the legendary Lord of the Drains?
You look more heroic than I imagined
Let's get to it, which pipe of yours is stuck?
Then l'll take you to the toilet and point at the drain
Lord of the Drains, that one
One look and I can tell, it is a very lonely pipe
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss
I see him dealing with the clogged pipe
I exclaim with excitement
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged
OK, let's slip it back in again
I think it needs a little encouragement
OK
Go for it, go for it, go for it
It's time for Romeo's kiss, hey!
Go for...
cha cha cha
It was broken
cha cha cha
You alright, Alex?
He could hardly control himself
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself because it is an enemy to thee
Had I it written
I would tear the word
My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words of that tongue's utterance but I know that sound
Art thou Romeo, not a Montague?
Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike
How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb
and the place death, considering who thou art if any of my kinsmen find thee here
Dani-Juliette my Dani Juliette
Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike
How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb
and the place death, considering who thou art if any of my kinsmen find thee here
With love's light wings...
With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls
And what love can do that dares love attempt therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me
If they do see thee, they will murder thee
Look thou but sweet
And I be proof against their enmity
I would not for the world that they saw thee here
I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight
And but thou love me
let them find me here
By love, who first did prompt me to inquire
I am no pilot, yet, wert though as far
As that vast shore wash'd with the farthest sea
I would adventure for such merchandise
Tis almost morning, I would have thee gone
Great, good job!
What?
Nothing... anything?
Nothing too
I'm cleaning up our room, don't come in
Don't come in
OK
It's time for the "Ocean of Emotion" show
I'm your host, Johnny Ocean
Are you lonesome tonight?
Call in
set our emotions to sail along these radio airwaves
Our first caller has just called in
Hello, what is your name?
I'm Fanny
Fanny, anything you want to share with us tonight?
I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 years
I feel that we've lost that something between us
Loving feeling? Yes
He's an impractical idiot
He used to have a promising job
But he never gave too much effort
His biggest problem is he's over 30 yet he still dreams of becoming an actor
Your boyfriend...
Is he more like Tony Leung or Takeshi Kaneshiro?
He's not had a promotion for 10 years, get it?
Then I guess it's pretty pointless then
I don't know if I should stay with him
If we have a future together
If I leave him now, am I being selfish
Anyone who cares about Fanny call in with your advise
Tell her you care and what you think she should do next
Fanny, we have a friend who truly cares for you on the line
Your name is? I'm Dani
Fanny, I don't think you're being selfish at all
You should've dumped this loser a long time ago
I support you wholeheartedly
What's this guy doing wanting to make it big in movies?
He needs to have a grip of reality
Mr. Host, I have my own romance problems
The time now is
at the beep, 11:12pm and 48 seconds
Beep!
Johnny Ocean? Johnny?
Johnny?
Go to bed
It's late
Take 1, shot 1,scene 3, Lord of the Drains
Who is it? Must be the plumber l'let me get the door
You're who they call Lord of the Drains? You look really heroic
Show me the clogged pipes
This pipe
It is obviously a lonely pipe
I see him dealing with the pipe with all his might
I exclaim with excitement
It's full of garbage, who the...?
Cut!
Bosco! Cut! Cut! Cut!
What happened?
He swore in front of the camera
I cannot get into the scene with him cussing around
Of course he cusses, he's a real plumber
Do you know how hard it was to find him and cast him?
It's surrealism meeting reality
C'mon, you know how hard it is to shoot a movie nowadays
It's easier to find a woman willing to take off her clothes
Than an actor willing to take off his pants on camera
Every actor works on his personal velocity
And every velocity comes with is corresponding cadence
An actor's body is fearless in facing itself
facing another actor
Like flowing water it rams left and right
Dani?
Hello?
Man-Long, do you have a minute?
Yeah sure, why?
I really really need you right now
Really need me?
Scene 3, shot 1,take 2, Lord of the Drains
Must be the plumber, let me get the door
Miss, you need plumbing help?
You're who they call Lord of the Drains? You're heroic looking!
Bring me to the clogged pipe
OK
This pipe right here
It is obviously a very lonely pipe
What now?
Don't worry, I live for pipes like these
Let me get my tools and l'll deal with it
Watch me
Miss, your pipe is really clogged has it been a while?
It has been years
No worries, leave it to me
I see him deal with the pipe with all his might
I exclaim with excitement
Miss, my tool is not hard enough, I'm switching to another one
Don't worry, I'm almost done just have to slip it back in
Help me out, just hold it tightly
Great, that was a good take, move the camera here
Mr. Plumber you were great
I can't believe how well you knew the lines
Thanks OK, we go for broke on the next take
Plumber and the young woman I want some eroticism
Mr. Director, this is hardly making any sense
Clearing pipes then going for sex, it makes perfect sense
I think we need a little foreplay to make it more logical
I agree
This is what audiences spent 50 bucks to see
Bosco, you said you don't want to lose out to the Infernal Affairs director
You should be more demanding even if it's a soft core porn movie
Well... what do you suggest?
I've thought about it already
I think I need to sing a song first
Let the plumber relax
Then we hit the sack, then it makes more sense
Good idea!
There's a beautiful girl
Growing up in a happy family
Her eyes are glowing
With passion and glory
Affecting everyone's heart
And making them crazy
Oh my lovely lady
Oh my innocent beauty
Come sing with me, come dance with me
Oh my lovely lady
Oh my innocent beauty
Come sing and dance with me
I need to clean your pipes now
I'm so relaxed
Cut, great take!
Good take!
Dance is over, right?
OK, time to go to bed
I can only do this much artistic scenes
C'mon we're behind schedule
I want you to go hard
from the get go, ok?
I have another suggestion
What this time?
Will it work?
What are you doing here? Go do real plumbing work
Let me stay a while
To the left, to the right
Undulation...
Separation...
Flying...
I'm so happy, never been this happy
I really love going to class with you
So, any good?
Really good
But I want to see the real Dani Dan
The real Dani's not that pretty
Dani
Why did you take the porn actress route?
Let me tell you a story
Once upon a time, there was a girl called Dani
She was born into poverty
She, her dad, and her siblings lived in the province
She was the eldest, she had to provide for the younger siblings
She always dreamt about eating her favorite dishes
It's hilarious
This one time, she was dreaming about it again
She could not stop eating
Then she woke up to find out she was biting into her sister's foot!
When she turned 18
Her dad bought her a train ticket and a blanket
Took her to the train station
He pointed at the rails and said
Dani, you need to go along this rail and never look back
Keep going straight, don't ever come back
She boarded the train
And started crying non stop
She knew that her dad did not want her to return anymore
Just keep moving forward
So Dani
Kept moving forward
She has to succeed
End of story
Your turn
My turn?
Your turn to perform
I'm actually not good at performing
You're a great performer
I just overact all the time
Overact a self intro then
OK
Overact
First of all, I'm a person
A person walks, and sleeps
And will eventually die one day
But I have so many things
The first thing I have
is a girlfriend who doesn't really love me anymore
Secondly, I have an impossible dream
Thirdly, I live a life no one will ever identify with
In other words, I don't have anything
But I learned a lesson recently
How to act like I'm happy and how to act like I'm not
When I'm happy...
And when I'm unhappy...
When I need to be happy, and when I need to be unhappy
Man Long
I feel relieved saying all that
Me too
Yeah?
You're really sick, do you know that?
Everyone in this city is sick, me included
Let's have breakfast tomorrow Sure
What to eat? You decide
Who was that? Looks really familiar.
A friend, and that guy beside you?
I'm very unhappy
I'm okay, I thought you were happy
You've been taking lessons for a while, want to put it to a test?
Here's the good news
the bosses want you to take part in a mission
Fantastic news
Call me stupid, I want to swap a bowl of beef with a bowl of mushrooms from you
Madam, I'd like to know more about this mission
You play a small time crook OK
Go into the Mahjong Parlor
Someone will leave the third table from the left, take his place
Lose a round, then leave
That's it? That's it
Hang on, who am I supposed to beat
What's this case all about? I need to know more.
Not that I don't want to tell, that's all I know
Let me know if it works
Mic check, 1... 2...
Lose a round, leave immediately, that's easy
Luck is not going my way, I'm done
We know each other you don't mind playing with us?
I'm just a small time crook, what do I care?
Since you don't mind, let's play then!
There you go, call me Fat Long
Do you know what you're doing? Shut up and play!
You're manners please, we don't mind playing with big fishes
Big brother Long, right?
We're family
Call me Crazy Sam
Why are you scared? Do you know me?
Not really
You don't know who Crazy Sam is?
Oh really?
Let's play on, l'll leave once we're done
What?
I've been dealt a really bad hand
Play on, right?
White tile!
This is just a bad hand, one dot
Hang on...
These all came from you?
Plus this East wind, brother Sam
I don't recall...
Brother Long, a fortune teller once told me...
If I win in bets it will bring my whole family bad luck
Yeah, my boss once told me too
If I don't win in mahjong, l'll get hit by a truck
and if someone I play with
loses deliberately I'm going to have even worse luck
I agree, definitely need to get hit by a truck
Play on
2 Dots
Damn!
What? I'm pissed
Let's take a look No need
Landslide win!
That means I lost!
Great news, Brother Sam
Thank you Long you really have the look of a winner
You got that right
East wind
You're sweating like a pig
I sweat when I'm about to lose
You got an allergic itch or something?
I have skin eczema
Eczema? What's the humidity level now?
The weather observatory says 93% humidity
No wonder his eczema is acting up
Wrong, dryness causes eczcema
Yet you're drenched
Kong!
That's a whole lot of coincidence
West wind
Alright, I'm folding
This fell out of your pants, I wonder what it is
It's a dehumidifier
Then this must be a vacuum cleaner?
Freeze, you stupid cop
Don't forget, I own this place
Brother Sam, I'm just a small time crook
Stop touching that necklace
As soon as you did that when you sat, I knew you weren't one
Hold this
To be a small time crook? You need four must's
You must have the look
What's with that hat? You have a concert later?
What's with that bracelet? You want to be Elton John?
Second, you must have the grit
You yap all the time, I knew you have no moves
Thirdly, you must have the wit
You tried to convince me this was a dehumidifier?
Just proves how idiotic you are
Lastly, you must have the speed
Give me back the gun
I gave him the firearm, he didn't use it to escape?
Today's your last day on Earth
Time to check out!
No
Why do undercover cops have such crap acting skills?
Why are you here?
My dad owns the Mahjong Parlor
Why did you rescue me?
We were classmates after all... I didn't realize you're a...
Don't you say it... you can't.
You owe me a big favor
The two ground to ground cameras have been allocated into the budget
Although the bosses approved
Hey you, what's that?
Sir, we raided a whorehouse and found pirated porn discs
Should we turn it over to the Customs?
Let'see what they got
Hollywood films, local movies, all the latest ones
The new Dani Dan movie
Let's take a look
But you just took your meds
That means my heart is at its strongest now
Let's watch it quick
Darn, even pirated copies are clear as daylight now
Dani's acting skills really improved in this one
The plumber guy's really funny
He actually looks somewhat familiar
Don't you guys agree?
I seem to remember but I can't quite put a finger on it
Excuse me, the principal asked to see me
Principal
Officer Lin, you're here today.
Don't think I like being here
I asked you to polish your acting skills, not be a porn actor
Officer Lin, I had concealed my true identity from others
You really think police are idiots?
You think no one will recognize you
disguised as a stupid plumber romancing some lonely gal?
You're dismissed from this school from now on
The principal and myself are expelling you
Go back to your desk
and file a detailed report on how you made the porn film
Yes sir
Principal
This is a direct order from your supervisor, I can't help you
But jealous souls will not be answer'd so they are not ever jealous for the cause
but jealous for they are jealous
tis a monster begot upon itself, born on itself
Such great dialogue
Wow!
Who is it? The Phantom?
It's me
And who are you? Man Long Chan
You were reciting the Bard
Who's the Bard? The Swan of Avon
The Swan? William Shakespeare
You know the play? A little bit
You're the new stage manager?
No
But I'm in love with acting
You in love with acting or you just want to be an actor?
I'm applicable to both
O, reason not the need
our basest beggars are in the poorest thing superfluous
King Lear
That night I had this very explicit dream
In it I'm a chief priest in Homeric Greece
I'm wearing a wide gold mask all noble and bearded
like the so-called Mask of Agamemnon found at Mycenae
Peter Schaffer's "Equus"
Ah no! Young blade! That was a trifle short!
You might have said at least a hundred things
by varying the tone
Gascons Cadets! "Cyrano de Bergerac"
Thou, nature, art my goddess
to thy law my services are bound
Thou, nature, art my goddess
to thy law my services are bound
Wherefore should I stand in the plague of custom
and permit the curiosity of nations to deprive me...
Wherefore should I stand in the plague of custom
and permit the curiosity of nations to deprive me
for that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines lag of a brother?
For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines lag of a brother?
Why bastard? Wherefore base?
Bastardy? Base, base?
Who, in the lusty stealth of nature take more composition and fierce quality
than doth, within a dull, stale tired bed go to the creating
a whole tribe of fops, got 'tween asleep and wake?"
When my dimensions are as well compact my mind as generous
and my shape as true, as honest madam's issue?
Why brand they us with base? With baseness?
Bastardy? Base, base?
I don't know this part
Blood! Blood! Blood!
Blood! Blood! Blood! The Red Cross?
It's "Othello"
Right, "Othello"!
You from the Drama School? Yes
Finally, someone who's sane
But I just got kicked out That's to be expected
They're all crazy over there
The normal ones get expelled
I've got no place to learn drama now
You can learn drama anywhere
Tell you a secret, all professors are bad actors
Where should I be learning then?
Anywhere, anytime... the world is your school
Marlon Brando? Laurence Olivier!
That was great
Sweep these up for me, l'll show you something
Done
Let's go then
That's awesome
The best drama is not performed on stage
The best drama is performed in real life
All the world's a stage and...
...all the men and women merely players
Look over there
A fight is raging on
You're an idiot
Idiot? I'm the best gamer there is
Go ask your friend Gaming?
All my friends say you're immature
it's embarrassing
Cook me up till I mature then
How do I cook you to maturity
Light a fire and cook me up
Stupid swine, all you do is play video games
All you do is hit me
Just go! That's me
In the world of drama, reality is meaningless
We're not anthropologists, we're artists
Do you know your receding hairline's ugly? It's affecting me
So what?
So it's hideous
l'll go get a weave then
Hey, l'll go get a hair extension then
You freak
What's the matter? You get hair extensions too
You're insane, you hit me all the time
Go get a haircut!
Crazy woman, hit me on the head all the time
Crazy, hit me on the head all the time
By the lamp post, two working girls smoking around a trash can
My mom's kidney is failing and she's asking for one of mine
You got two anyway, you can spare one for her
She was never that kind to me since I was born.
If I cut one up for her
Who's gonna give me one if mine goes bad one day?
What if my boyfriend gets a bad kidney
Who's going to save him?
Just let your mom rot to death then
Shit, she's my mom after all
Let me tell you, stop bothering me
That phone accessory vendor she's talking to herself
I am begging you to give me a break
How many times do I have to tell you?
Please just let me be
That's funny
Is she delirious or something?
She's not mad, she's just using bluetooth earphones
Really?
Sorry, how much is this one?
10 bucks, don't pick it up if you're not buying it
How much?
20 bucks, don't look if you're not even buying
This is so cute
30 bucks, do you want it? Crazy, 30 bucks!
You still there?
Just let me be, how hard do I have to beg of you?
The difference between a nutcase and an artist, is that the artist is not insane
Watch this one closely
It's a masterpiece
His body language rivals miming legend Marcelle Marceau
Do you know who that is?
Sophie Marceau's mom?
Sir, for how long? Let me feed the meter for you
Now he's becoming an extortion con artist
Damn, everyone do it himself.
And now he's a depressed individual
Sense the drastic shifts in a matter of 3 minutes?
Which one was real? Which was just a role?
Whichever felt real to him became a role
When you create an illusion of reality, it becomes your reality
We saw a lot of actors, what's the use?
No use, we just observe
What does that mean? Nothing
The more you try to dig for meaning, the less meaningful it becomes
An emperor asked Buddha, What favors do I earn for building temples?
Buddha replied, "You earn no favors"
Watch this, hypnosis at work
Remember, don't use common detergents
They don't rinse up bubbles
Bubbles are our friends
Let me show you
Just place it right here, and it sucks on it
The string is in there for safety
The bubbles come out naturally as we right to left, left to right
And you have your bubbles just like that
Hypnotism is hinting and it basically means
Whatever I tell you is the truth
Now you see me, now you don't
Now you see me, now you do
Why do you see me now and not see me then?
Why is it so?
Because this baby is the bomb, how so?
It cleans your window on its own
Isn't it magical? It is magical
Just get one each miss and ma'ams
How much? 30 bucks each
But we're on a big sale today, why?
Buy one get one free for 60 bucks, doesn't get cheaper than that
Don't you agree, come on pay up
Just wipe from side to side
This cleans it even when you have your windows shut
Wouldn't we have to open it to retrieve it?
Let's go to LV
This is really useful, how much again?
Put it down, let's go shopping
It was really useful last time
Don't get conned
Sorry
Sorry what?
I'm sorry
What was it?
Pick pocket Pick pocket?
I call it sleight of hand
The highest form of acting is to do it and never get caught
What the... I lost my wallet
Your wallet's gone? What else is missing? Your watch?
Where's the watch? Everything has gone missing
I told you so many times to watch your wallet in Hong Kong
When did you say that?
I say it all the time
Not when we boarded the plane Yes I did
Not back in Changchun I sure did
Not when we got to Hong Kong I did you just don't listen
Why wouldn't I listen Because you wouldn't
I lost everything but you're still here
Why didn't he steal you away too?
You're crossing the line!
My mind is turning Mandarin...
Where's your watch?
Your watch is gone too? How many times have I told you
Guard your wallet in Hong Kong
You never did... you didn't say that in Changchun
Of course I did, you never listen
You hit me... you jerk!
Try hitting me again
Here you go
You hit me?
He's a wife beater
This jerk came to Hong Kong to be a wifebeater
l'll hit you too in Changchun
Get a grip of yourself, you crazy?
OK
Where the...
Bye now, see you again
Yes, remember 12 o'clock tomorrow
Ok, bye bye
Judy!
What a coincidence
He came to pick you up again?
What do you mean again?
I came for three consecutive nights, and you got on his car every time
I don't want to fool you, ok?
Man Long
You weren't like this when I first met you
You were ambitious and aggressive
You tell me jokes all the time, remember?
We were so happy together back then
Ask yourself though
Where did all of that go?
We're not young anymore
You have to know when to let go
Once you past a certain point
I didn't intend to betray... cheat on you
I hate this situation now
I could not stand it. But I am a woman
Truth is we've grown so wide apart
No use in wasting time and effort lying to myself
Look at you
You're an impractical fool
You're right where were 10 years ago, dreaming of becoming an actor
You think I cheated on you?
It was only a matter of time
It's a miracle it took me this long
A woman has a right to decide
for her own future
Let's just split up, you hear me?
I shouldn't have lied to you
but you know I can never hurt you, right?
Man-Long
Police... can I see your ID?
Can I help you, sir?
Don't be nervous
Oh, you're Johnny Ocean from Ocean of Emotion
That's right
Your radio program helped a lot of relationships
I'm just a talker Stop the modesty
Honestly though
you solved my relationship problem too
I did? Yes
This is a no parking zone though
Just park ahead of this area next time, ok?
Roger that!
What did he say to you?
He said not to stop at Love's No Parking zone
Man Long
Hello? Hi
Dani Dan please?
Speaking... who's this?
I'm Alan Mak
Would you be interested in appearing in a movie of mine?
Hello? Miss Dan?
Damn...
l'll do it, any role, l'll do it
Hi Mr. Director
You know why I zeroed in on you?
It's alright to be stuck in a bad movie
But when a patron pays to see a movie
He knows if you cheated him of his money
Quite a few actresses felt stripping is all that's needed in a skin flick
They don't respect themselves
I give it my all every time out
My new movie, I'm not sure if you mind
It's different from your past roles, you need to wear something
Sure
It's the female lead
Let me tell you about the role first
Please go ahead
It all starts in Shanghai circa 1954
Do you want to just get that?
I switched it off, no one's going to bother us now
OK, this girl
was born in China's Northeastern Region
Her parents took her to Shanghai when she was 3
then quickly went back to her birthplace
Remember, in the 60's...
I remember back in the 80's
Going to Shanghai by train from Guangzhou
I needed 27 hours and three transits
Do you have any questions?
Do I need to have dinner with the producers?
Dinner with the boss?
Not for our movies, the boss is a busy man
Brother Pang
Bounce!
It's been 10 years 10 years indeed
Billie, this is my old pal Bounce
Hi Brother Bounce
He's a pal I met in the Brazilian prison
He's a tough guy
Brother Pang is my boss, we're family
So what can I do for you? Bounce
Why did I take the fall for the things we did in Brazil
10 years in the slammer and got you to get away clean?
Because you're a really good guy?
That too, but mostly because I needed you to bring the cash back
I almost died in that jail
Billie tell him what got me through the years
Because you have a dream That's right
I firmly believed that there will come a time
for me to retrieve what I lost 10 years ago
I had US$10 Million my blood brother Bounce is safekeeping for me
We have equal shares in that venture
If there's only one person I can trust in the world
It has to be Bounce!
I want to rebuild my dream right in this city
I will call the shots again
The money, is it safe?
Safer than bin Laden
It's kept in the bank vaults
l'll get it for you in the morning
I have a project in planning, I need some funding
Tomorrow's a Sunday, we have to wait till Monday
Monday it is then
I have to go to the bathroom
You fool, trying to scare me to death?
Dad
I don't mind what you've done in the past
Just return the money to him but don't go back to your old gang
That's not the problem, you see
I don't have the money he thinks he has
That's a big sum, what happened?
Well what happened in the last 10 years that caused me to lose that sum?
Do you have a few thousand dollars to lend me?
I need to buy a gun and rob a bank
At least I can stage a gunfight if the cops come
Brother Pang will understand it better
There's no way of getting out of this?
You called?
I saved your life once, I need you to return that favor now
Wait for me here, l'll get it for you
Watch out
Here's our plan
Monday morning
Bounce will bring Billie & Pang to the bank
He'll ask them to wait outside
We need to fill the bag up with stuff
and have Bounce walk out
and earnestly hand the bag over to Brother Pang
Brother Pang, here's your US$5 Million, you can inspect it
I trust you completely
You still have to check it for safety
This is fine
I thought about it thoroughly
Count me out from your big plans
I'm not the Bounce from before
I also promised my son to lead a normal life
Well this is it then
We'll see each other again
As soon as Bounce leaves, Felicia will play a plump housewife
holding a similar bag and meet them
Our little heist scene will then be in full swing
My bag's snatched
Take this!
It's Dani Dan, snap some shots of her!
Excuse me
He snatched my bag Police! Freeze!
It's in their nature, the second they hear "Police, Freeze!"
Pang and Billie will run like hell
Then they will bump into the various characters
played by our drama school classmates
the perfect bait and switch plan will be mobilized
What?
Where's the Jockey Cricket Club? No idea
Hey you Don't touch me
Hands off, dude
The Cricket Club's that way, pal
Let's ask the cops walking over here
Want to buy some insurance policies?
Sir want to test out our afternoon tea set?
No, no
I couldn't stop them, they're headed towards the hotel
Charmaine
Be careful, come on
OK, what else, get going...
My water broke!
I thought I was evil, can't believe you didn't even save the baby
I'm about to give birth Let go
If you don't let go I'm punching
Punch him
You're not helping out the pregnant lady
I hate security guards
Eat shit
Ken, get well soon
My bag, Billie
Hey my bag
Sorry, didn't mean to
Let's get going
Vivian, your turn
Sirs, would you kindly buy a flag for charity?
Do you have change in your pocket?
Change my ass! I'm appealing to your good nature
Really sorry
Honey...
Let go I am not your honey
Give me back my baby!
Such a filthy beggar!
Let go!
Deal with her. I'm a cruel murderer
Two things I can't stand
Cockroaches and crazy bitches
You're mean, just please let go
I'm begging you please let go
Let go!
Let's go, the doctor's appointment awaits
Sorry, gotta go to the doctor's
You ok? Godfather?
Are they blind? They are
How's it going Man-Long?
We got it, hold this, Dani and check it out
We didn't switch it What now?
Oh no Where did we go wrong?
There's one more thing What?
Let's do over
It's too awkward
I won't have time to redo my make-up
Why don't we do this
We know clearly what that bag holds
We'll go to them and accuse them of stealing
Call the fat lady
Which fat lady? Felicia
She's not that fat
Is this the emergency line? Yes.
My bag got snatched
Please come save me
Don't ask my name, just know that I got robbed
I'm at the East TST Roman Forums, come over quick
No...
Not in Rome, in TST East
I'm in pink, I'm a pretty pink lady
Come over quick
Sir, over here, I know what the robbers were wearing
I have a photographic memory
It's them alright Freeze
Freeze
Yes, officer? Face the wall
Officers, it is them. They snatched my bag.
What proof do you have this was yours?
Get the bag Check it out
What's in the bag? US$5 Million in cash
What? There's a US$ 100 bill
A pair of black stockings, a garter string
A white girdle
You know what girdles are for? It's for tucking in the fat!
It's mine
There's also a camouflaged teddy bear I bought from an online auction
OK Officer, have you ever bid on web auctions?
Match? Perfect match
There was clearly US$5 Million in there
Too early for dreaming
We're arresting you now on the count of robbery
You two are being arrested Officers
You have the right to remain silent...
Where's the woman? She left
Then we can go now, right?
You think I'm stupid?
You two are going to jail, we're just one witness short
Back to the precinct with us, call the squad car
Constable number 6755 is calling out...
Godfather, something is not right
Our bag got switched maybe?
Impossible, when Bounce handed you the bag
I remember seeing that white thread at the zipper
I picked up the bag immediately, I didn't let it leave my sight
You mean...
If there's only one person you can trust
it's me
Police, freeze
Godfather
Take the gun and find Bounce, leave this to me
I was hoping we'd just switch the bags out
Now they got arrested
I feel bad
Sorry uncle, we had no choice
Yeah
You sure took your time to buy take out dinners
I remember you said you have a son
Too bad you share the same hairstyle
He... he's not my son
Dad!
You guys didn't have to shout at the same time
Brother Pang, l'll come clean
I invested the US$10 Million we had
all on real estate
Not only did I lose all of it, I'm 1 Million bucks in debt now
It's all gone Impossible!
Did you know Hong Kong had a Chief Executive called Tung Cheewah?
You're lying, I've checked
The Chief Exec now is Donald Tsang, and the real estate biz is booming
This is all my doing, leave my son alone
Let him go, I will repay you with my own life
Dad! I'm going to kill you!
The gun is fake, don't do it
Anybody hurt?
Police, Freeze, Drop the Gun
Man Long
Please be alright
Freeze, drop the gun
Man Long, please don't die
I'm fine
Why are you crying?
I... thought...
Let me do this first
Officer Lin Hey
That guy's quite the goon, attacking an officer and snatching firearm
We came as soon as we heard
Sir, this was found on the suspect's pocket
Looks like schematics to a bank vault
Looks like? It already says HSBC on this, stupid.
Read next time not just look at pictures
Sorry, sir
Man Long, congratulation, this is your ticket to a promotion
Why are you covering your belly, you not well?
I... got shot...
But I don't want my friends to worry about me
You're a good driver, can you take me to the hospital?
Get in the car
Man Long... Man Long...
You alright, lady?
Just a flesh wound
Dad
One year later
The Hong Kong Film Academy Best Actress trophy goes to
First time nominee and former sex bomb Dani Dan
Her performance in the movie was impeccable
Director Alan Mak also win Best Screenplay and Director awards with the same movie
Dani expressed surprise at the win
but thanked the director profusely for the opportunity
Here's a clip of her acceptance speech
I want to thank my family
and a dear friend of mine
A friend who is passionate about acting
A guy who would do his best even when playing a sex film plumber
Man Long Chan, I thank you
I am your biggest fan
And one day you will also win
This is pretty heavy
Test out your acceptance speech, won't you?
I...
Finally realized that one is happiest...
...not when he executes a role in a movie to perfection
The hardest role one can ever play in this world, is himself
I have promised my good friend Dani Dan
That, like her, I will do my very best
and play myself well each and every day
Thank you my dear classmate Dani
Thank you
Hey you, where is Man Long Chan? Did you page him?
He's on his way...
Reporters are waiting for me
He's here, Madam
Good morning, Madam
Thanks for coming over
Can you comment on my delivery?
I'm pleased that with the arrest of the drug lord Crazy Sam
Undercover offices who died in his hands will now rest in peace
You may want to use a little more empathy
I'm pleased that with the arrest of the drug lord Crazy Sam
Undercover offices who died in his hands will now rest in peace
That was obviously fake
This is hard
Why don't you try and picture this
The officers we lost before are now in heaven
Resting atop fluffy clouds
And that their family and loved ones are looking at you
Ok I got it
I'm pleased that with the arrest of the drug lord Crazy Sam
Undercover offices who died in his hands will now rest in peace
The delivery lacked momentum
Practice this for now
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper
Peter Pickle pipered a pepper...
Peter Piper Peter Piper
Picked a peck of pickled pepper
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper!
My glasses look good Look cute on you
Thanks
Officer Chan
I need to play a small time crook
They asked me to come get your comments
You look too good to be a small time goon
Although I remember someone once told me
There are four musts in the role of a small time crook
Characterization
Acting is making bold assumptions, and careful confirmations
The look of it is very crucial
If you wear heavy gold chains to play an underworld goon
That's making cowardly assumptions, and careless confirmation
Action
Acting is not just using words, you need body movements
With every action, there's a reaction
Imagination
Everything within the realms of logic
Calling a bug mike a dehumidifier
is clearly defying the laws of logic
Improvisation
The only thing constant is change, all things are possible in acting
In other words, be quick on your feet
Understand? Yes, thank you, sir
Fall in
In a hurry?
Let's do some basic drills Yes, sir
Ok...
Cadet 747 late for reporting, sorry sir
You look familiar
I won the outstanding performance award
At the annual dinner party last night
I really love acting
What is the most important thing in acting?
First thing, cool down a little
Let me go and stand aside
Remember, acting is like everyday life
You have to find who you are first of all
That means knowing your strengths
but more importantly recognizing your weaknesses too
Weakness here means bad habits
Remember, these things don't easily fade away
So you have to learn to accept yourself
know that you're imperfect
But cherish every opportunity you get to perform
So cherish every chance you act on stage and in life
Understand?
THE END Subtitles by: Reklame